Okay so, so far I have had about a week since my last post. Not so great. I will attempt to do better. I have been dealing with sick children the entire weekend. I also have this horrendous cold. I can handle me being sick OR the kids being sick not both.
My dilemma (things never change), we are back at birthday time for Emma. This brings all sorts of anxiety for me. Birthday parties have always been an issue for me because I stopped having birthday parties around the age of 12. I have vivid memories of birthday parties where my mom was stressing before every party because she either didnt have the money or didnt have the house clean before company was over. It just made it feel like alot of hooplah for something that happens once a year every year God willing. When my party actually came I had fun but the build up never became worth it. So I sort of became bah humbug on MY birthday. I enjoy celebrating other people's birthdays but my own is an issue.
The other ordeal with birthdays is that I am not a hostess by nature. I have never been an "entertainer." Sorry Mom but another thing from you which is we dont entertain guests at our house unless we have to. The house is never clean enough and we dont enjoy having to think about things like extra toilet paper in the bathroom in case someone runs out or the infamous "Can I get you something to drink?" question. In my mind if you are at my house, you are likely family or a close friend which means two things you know where the drinks are and know that I won't care if you help yourself and you also are smart (I only associate myself with smart people) and you will look to see if you need more toilet paper before you get in there which in turn you will then ask me for some more TP.
Yes, God is working on my heart with this one. I recognize that God calls us to open up our homes to allow for all sorts of things, whether it be a small group, or get together or even the ability to invite my neighbor over with the remote possibility of sharing the Good News. I also recognize that it is difficult to be a hermit when your husband and children are not so I am going to have to get it together and start being Ms. Hospitality.
Either way birthday is about a month away and I have to not only decide where and when but also the whole money thing and how big and what not. As of right now the thought is at my Mom's house (go figure) because it is big enough for both sides of the family.

Baby is fussing and trying not to eat his boogers at the same time. I am going to save him.