A fresh start

So many may already know that I have been down this path before. Excited about starting a blog, posting consistently for about a week and then going MIA for the next two months. This is probably a good representation for my life in general but that analyzing is for another day.

Im calling this my fresh start... my new beginning. I have began a new endeavor in my life and where I was in life with my last blog is a very different spot where I am now. In case you are interested my old blog is www.softballjunkie.blogspot.com I think it is important to read my past to understand my present. As of my last post on my old blog I was a married,working, pregnant mother of one, I was still attending classes about two to three nights a week,money was a little bit more readily available, time was precious and every moment with my child was a gift. I had yet to even fathom the ability to love any child more than my Emma.

What's changed..well quite a bit. Things that have not changed I am still married...Yay! We hit 4 years in May. If I was a celebrity that would be a huge deal. I no longer work full time. Praise the Lord!! I am now at home full time other than a small little online gig with my sister-in-law for some extra cash. Thanks sis! Which then leads to the other big change which is our money situation. It is tighter than it has ever been since we got married. This has been a huge adjustment for our life and lifestyle. For me, it is stepping back into a world similar to my growing up. It is scary and faith-building all in the same. We have managed to pay all of our bills but now every month is a blessing. It is a huge adjustment for my husband though because he has never experienced a life where (gasp) you cant fill your tank full everytime you get gas and you grocery shop for necessities only. A life he has never known and a life I hoped to escape Let me tell you though we are not near on the street or anything like that and we are incredibly blessed with what we have but it has just been a dramatic change that took place rather abruptly for us so bear with me until it works itself out.
As for school, classes are completed. I am within months of finishing my Masters in Counseling Psych. Who knows if I will ever use the degree but it is something that I have wanted to accomplish and therefore am going to do. I now intern at an undisclosed location (for privacy reasons) two nights a week. I enjoy it there and love feeling like my work serves a bigger cause but still not quite sure if counseling is what I want to do. I am pretty good at it and knowledgeable at it but it is the mentally exhausting work. Either way I am a hop, skip and jump away from a Masters. I am definitely determined.
As for my children.... I mentioned earlier that I was unsure and a tad bit anxious about how I could love any child more than my little girl. This has changed as well. Prior to having my little boy Isaiah I knew it would work cause it had to but by far I am overwhelmed by the love I feel for both of my children. It is amazing how that happens. Call it mothers instinct, or a glimpse of God's love for us but I am in awe of the unconditional, unending, and consuming love I have for two children. Some days I think it could stop my heart right then and there when I look at them and think this is God's way of letting me know He is very much real and paid enough attention to me to know that they are exactly what I needed in my life. Which then leads to my last issue which was that every moment with my Emma was a gift. This is something that has not changed but I just have a different perspective now that I spend almost quadruple the time I spent with my kids prior to quitting work. Some days I take the gift for granted and other days I find myself wanting to stop the moment because I know this is likely a memory in the making that I will be looking back on in twenty years and would give my right arm to live again. So no real change there ...every moment is a gift it is just harder to recognize daily when you get to live it all the time.

This is a start...Im sure I will gripe tomorrow but today I had to hook my readers!
Hope it worked.